A very common observation by the Japanese people, as well as other Asiatic, is that western people are too aggressive and too frank. They come on too strong. Some people refer to this as the western hunter and the eastern farmer. Japanese as an eastern people, treasure HARMONY and HUMILITY in their daily relations.
Allowance —–
You will receive an allowance of 10,000 Yen per month as pocket money from your host club. This is neither exorbitant nor penurious. The general policy is to make every attempt to live within this as a budget. If you are eating out, try to keep the food bill around 500 Yen. You will spend a good amount of money on postage and film. Don’t go around shooting films like these is no tomorrow. You will be here for a year. Take your time and be selective.
Diary —
It is a good habit to keep a dairy, as it will give you something lasting to recall your days when you return home. It will also help you organize your life here. The first few months may be slow, but after a while you become very busy and will tend to forget a great many of the things that have happened without some kind of record. Eating out —
As a rule, do not eat out unless you have to, your host family takes the responsibility for your health when you are staying with them, and your diet is one of their prime concerns. If you plan on eating out or in a situation where you have to eat out, pick your places wisely, and do not go into any of the small untidy places. Also, if you are visiting a home and they invite you to stay for a meal on the spot, REFUSE. You will probably be causing them an inconvenience, although they may be quite insistent on having you. A general rule to follow is take all your meals with your host family, or at homes that have invited you with previous warning and approval of your host family.
Free time —
In the beginning, you will probably have much time on your hands. When you can’t communicate, this is a problem. Use as much of your time as you can to study Japanese. Do some reading on things Japanese. Just don’t sit and sprout roots. Never closet yourself in your room. Even if you don’t know what is going on, make yourself present in the family room and try what little Japanese you have.
Giving presents —
It is customary in Japan to bring a gift when you are visiting someone in the hospital, at invitation etc. These should be simple and original if possible. Some souvenirs brought from home would be excellent. The idea here is that you thought enough to bring a gift, not the value or the content of the gift. Your host family will probably teach you the marvelous skills they have in wrapping gifts. Birthdays are not celebrated that big here, but a small gift to a host brother or sister would be in order. Something small, but meaningful. If you go on a trip, it is customary to bring back a box of sweets or some small souvenir to your family. These are sold all over the place, are cheep, and will put you right into the Japanese way of doing things.
Greetings —
Courtesy, good manners and proper respect must be shown at all times to order people. Generally, the Japanese do not show this respect and love outwardly, as by hugging, kissing, etc. but their sentiments are as real all the same. The Japanese use a bow to great others, accompanied by the proper word of greeting. When referring to anyone other than yourself, you should add ‘san’ after the family name. Thus you would call either Mr. or Mrs. Sato – Sato-san. In your family, to anyone younger than you, you would generally add ‘chan’ to their given names. Outside of the family, first names are usually not used except when one very close to the other person.
Giving presents —
It is customary in Japan to bring a gift when you are visiting someone in the hospital, at invitation etc. These should be simple and original if possible. Some souvenirs brought from home would be excellent. The idea here is that you thought enough to bring a gift, not the value or the content of the gift. Your host family will probably teach you the marvelous skills they have in wrapping gifts. Birthdays are not celebrated that big here, but a small gift to a host brother or sister would be in order. Something small, but meaningful. If you go on a trip, it is customary to bring back a box of sweets or some small souvenir to your family. These are sold all over the place, are cheep, and will put you right into the Japanese way of doing things.
Greetings —
Courtesy, good manners and proper respect must be shown at all times to order people. Generally, the Japanese do not show this respect and love outwardly, as by hugging, kissing, etc. but their sentiments are as real all the same. The Japanese use a bow to great others, accompanied by the proper word of greeting. When referring to anyone other than yourself, you should add ‘san’ after the family name. Thus you would call either Mr. or Mrs. Sato – Sato-san. In your family, to anyone younger than you, you would generally add ‘chan’ to their given names. Outside of the family, first names are usually not used except when one very close to the other person.
Inviting others —
Don’t go around inviting other to your house for a meal or party without cleaning with your host family in advance. An unexpected guest could be an embarrassment. Ask your host families about this as well as the time for returning home that is customary these. The same goes for you when you are inviting. Don’t stay for a meal unless previously invited. Also, don’t stay too late.
Language study —
There is no easy way to learn Japanese. It must be a concentrated and disciplined approach, with set hours everyday following a standard text. You will not pick it up walking up and down the street with your ears open; you’ll not pick it up by watching TV. But these are good helps when used with formal study.
Permissions —
Your host family and your Counselor are responsible for you, so make sure you maintain constant contact with them. Most requests you may have can be handled through your host family. If you are going out at night, make sure you know where you are going, with whom and when you will be back. Make sure this is explained to your host family and understand that they have the final SAY on whether you go or not. In the beginning you will not be allowed out of the sight of the host family for any reason. After a while, depending on destination and company, permission will be given. In brief, don’t do anything that might cause undue worry to your host family.
Priorities —
You are a Rotary sponsored and hosted exchange student. Your homes are Rotay homes. Therefore, Rotay rules take precedence overall other rules, regulations, customs, habits, supervision or whatever else may enter your head as a possible legitimate reason for getting exempt from the program outline. Just remember that out rules are made to be observed by you, Rotary comes first, you personal commitment second. During your one year here at a host Club, you are the present and future Exchange Program for that Club. Your success will ensure the continue cooperation of the Club with Youth Exchange Program. If you bomb, you not only go down the drain yourself, but you will sink the Youth Exchange Program in that area for many years to come.
Shopping —
If you plan on buying something rather expensive while you are here (camera, watch, tape-recorder, etc.) wait until you have been here awhile and seek advice from your host family or your Counselor. They will tell you where to buy and it has been know that that they can assist you getting a bit of a discount. You have a full year, so wait and be selective.
Thank you notes —
Gratitude may be called the forgotten virtue, but it is certainly appreciated. Don’t forget to send a note of thanks to those that do favors for you, invite you for a meal, take you out for a trip, help you in your shopping, etc. Japanese postcards are ideal for this.
Visitation of parents —
Any proposed trips to the country of exchange should not take place in the first six months of the exchange, and if a trip is proposed it would only take place in the later months before the return of the student. Even then, the contact with the student should be only for a short period, as these visits tend to interrupt their schooling.
Writing to your host family —
When you return home after a year here, it is recommended to write to your host families, host Club, your school teachers as often as possible. This promotes international friendship as well as the program itself. Unfortunately some students on returning home fail to write to their host families and host Club and this is keenly felt. To help the Youth Exchange Program, Don’t fail to write.
In conclusion, it is necessary for you to bear in mind that you are not a guest, but a ROTARY AMBASSADOR OR AMBASSADRESS for your country, and also that you are under the control and guardianship of your host Club and District Youth Exchange Committee while you are here. If your behavior is not acceptable to your host Club, your school and District Committee, you are subject to be the possibility of early return to your home. In closing, a little advice:
How to not be successful in your experience.
- Don’t eat Japanese food
- Don’t study Japanese language.
- Don’t try to understand; just compare and criticize.
- Don’t make Japanese friends.
- Embarrass and offend the Japanese teachers, especially the English ones.
- Work hard for money, not for study.
- Ignore curfew time and/or stay overnight with somebody without permission.
- Be un-presentable.
- Don’t consult host families and Counselors.
- Happy end: Become homesick and go home.